Pushing You Away
by Lonely Moon
Summary: Sora & Riku have been friends for years. It is no surprise then when Riku states his true feelings but how will Sora's new super conservative girlfriend Kairi deal? When given a choice between your heart & what you've always known, which do you chose?
1. Part I

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Main Pairing: Riku X Sora

--This is technically AU and therefore some of the characters are a bit different, sorry but it is necessary.

--If you honestly think it is exceeding the rating M and therefore should not be on please tell me before you go off and do something unnecessary. The rest please enjoy and leave a review please.

Disclaimer:_I do not own Kingdom Hearts. All rights are reserved by there separate owners. On the other hand, this plot is all mine and Hiroshi is my character as well. _

Warning:This fiction contains mature themes such as sex, violence, language, and hate. If you can't handle these themes, I suggest you leave. Yaoi a.k.a men having sexual relationships with other men, is a main part in this fic once again if this bothers you then please remove yourself.

_**The topics addressed and the views portrayed in this story do NOT reflect those of the authoress. She has only set out to portray the views of the hateful people that she sees in life. The authoress is sorry if any words or comments offend anyone but she hopes you can see why she felt the need to put them in.**_

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Pushing You Away:Part I

"Sora," Riku whispered coming up behind the brunet. The silver haired man wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist pulling the other's fragile body against his own.

"Riku," Sora said happily. "I haven't seen you in months. Where have you been?" The man asked turning around to face his long time friend.

"Sorry about that, I've been out on the island building the new dock. They didn't expect it to take as long as it did. So how have you been?" Riku questioned staring intently at his friend. It had only been just over three months but some how he seemed different.

"Well," Sora began but was interrupted. Riku leaned in and slid his muscled arms around him pulling the surprised brunet into a hug. "Umm, Riku." The man stammered.

"I missed you Sora and you have changed. I can't tell how exactly but I can see it. I know I should have said something but the job came up unexpectedly and if I didn't take it someone else would have. You know how that is." The silver haired man explained pulling the other closer. Sora wrapped his arms around Riku, returning the hug. Nuzzling into the elder man's neck Sora inhaled the sweet salty smell that always accompanied Riku.

_How I've missed that scent_. Sora thought with a sigh.

"Goodness he hasn't been gone that long." A harsh voice said as the owner approached the embracing men. The two quickly pulled away from each other and turned to their visitor. "I wondered what was keeping you." The shrill voice had come from a pretty woman. However, to say beautiful would be a bit much. Said woman's hair was a brown red that seemed to glow in the sun light. She wore a Pink shirt that was perfect at giving the illusion of showing a lot without actually doing it and a pair of plain jeans. Her large feet were sheathed in pink shoes that poked out from bottom of her tight pant legs. Over all the out fit was modern and gave away nothing of the super conservative Christian that she was.

"Kairi look Riku is back." Sora exclaimed watching the girl for a reaction to what she had seen.

"I guess the job my father told you about has been finished. What a shame; anyway, Sora if you are finished here I was hoping you would come have dinner with my family and I," Kairi announced smiling sweetly at the two men.

"Sure just let me say goodnight to Riku and then I'll head on over." The brunet agreed and turned back to Riku.

The red head's smile wilted around the edges but her voice betrayed nothing as she said, "All right then see you in a few." With that, she reluctantly turned and headed back from whence she came.

"You and Kairi are an item?" Riku asked skeptically.

"Yeah she asked me out just after you left." Sora said looking away as pink bled into his cheeks.

"She has had her eye on you for some time now. Wonder why she doesn't like me," He said dryly. Sora turned back to him a shocked look now covering his face.

"I'm sure it's not that she doesn't like you she's probably just cranky."

"Yeah cranky, well I guess you have to be going. Look I should have asked this a long time ago but I guess now is better than never, you do realize that I see you as more than a friend right? I would never take it further if you didn't want to but I can't deny how I feel." Riku leaned in placing a chaste kiss on Sora's cheek before walking past him.

Did he know that? Yeah, the two had not so subtly flirted ever since puberty so why did having it said aloud make it so much more real, more unacceptable. Sora's sky blue gaze stared intently at where his friend had been standing not so long ago.

_What now? _ He thought. _ Kairi will be furious if she ever finds out that Riku has homosexual feelings for me. _ Sora's throat tightened as he stared up the hill towards where Kairi and her family were now preparing for a nice family dinner. _What if she already knows? _ The man sighed and fought the ever-growing pain in his chest as he headed toward Kairi's house. Heavy feet seemed to make the trip harder than it had ever been.

"What if I have to choose?" He mused stepping up to the door of his destination. "What if I have to choose between Kairi and Riku?"

"What about Riku?" Kairi asked opening the door; a warm smile decorated her face as she led Sora to the den claiming that dinner wouldn't be ready for a while now. Kairi sat down in a high back chair and crossed her legs.

"Do you want to discus something?" Sora asked noticing the suddenly stern look that took over his girlfriend's face.

"As a matter of fact I do, Sora you know that I have very strong feelings for you and all the things I have told you are true but I really need something to be cleared up if we are to get serious. You and Riku are just friends right?" The royal blue gaze of his inquisitor bore into him as he concentrated on the lines carved into his hands. Sora opened his mouth quite a few times only to close it again a second later.

Finally, he decided on an adequate answer, "Riku and I have been friends since childhood. We've been there for each other through every thing and he is the only person I trust one hundred percent but I don't think there is anything more between us." Sora sighed then nodded as if reassuring himself that it was in fact the truth.

"Really Sora? You seemed fairly cuddly down by the beach," the red head reminded.

"I haven't seen him in more than two months that's all. Honestly Kairi I'm not gay and Riku is my friend nothing more." The brunet smiled and went to his girl friend. Leaning down he kissed her lightly on the forehead.

_Homosexuality is an abomination in the eyes of God. I can't be gay. My family, my friends they would all be hurt if I were so I can't be, I just can't. _ Sora thought as he smiled down at Kairi.

"Come on I'm sure my parents are wondering where we ran off to." Kairi stood slipping her hand into Sora's and gently pulled him off towards the kitchen.

"So Kairi tells me that friend of yours has returned from his job over on the island. You're not going to let that get in the way of your relationship with my daughter are you?" Hiroshi, Kairi's father, questioned firmly as he dug into the pile of food that graced his plate.

"No sir, I'm sure that is not going to be a problem. Riku and I are adults now and know the importance of work and relationships, I'm sure he won't mind taking a backseat." Sora smiled as he said it but cringed mentally.

_Can I really do this to Riku? _ He wondered.

"Great, now Sora I have a nice little opening in my company that I was hoping you would be willing to fill. Shipbuilding is big business here on Destiny Island and I'm sure you would be able to build yourself a great future; what do you say?" Hiroshi asked watching Sora keenly as he cut his steak and shoved it into his mouth. Swallowing hard under the scrutinizing gaze Sora allowed his face to flush slightly.

"Oh now look you have embarrassed the boy. Hiro don't you think you should allow him a while to think it over, maybe discuss it with his parents?" Yuffie chimed in. Kairi's mother and father looked like total opposites yet they seemed to fit together like pieces to a puzzle. Hiroshi was short and round with auburn hair scattered across his balding head as well as carpeting his chin. He is quiet, reserved, but not a push over while his wife was thin and petite. Yuffie was a firecracker and always willing to tell you how she felt about something. Watching the two as they agreed that her idea was valid made Sora think that maybe love was all that one needed to be happy. Maybe if you loved each other everyone would see that and just agree that you were meant to be, no matter what.

The thought was fleeting how ever because with all of the important talk out of the way Hiroshi decided to tell the family about how some little fag and his bitch came into the store looking for a boat. He laughed saying that he put those fairies in their places and informed them that they had better enjoy life now because an eternity of pain will be waiting for them. Sora's eyes widened as he heard how Hiroshi spoke so coldly about these specific customers.

"Sora are you okay? You've stopped eating." Kairi said looking over at her boyfriend.

"Is something wrong?" Yuffie asked worriedly but didn't wait for the answer before she turned to her husband angrily. "You see Hiro, that is not polite dinner conversation and I won't tolerate it any more. What the queers do should have no affect on our meal," she turned her attention back to Sora, "I'm sorry if that talk bothered you. I don't like hearing those things either." Yuffie smiled as if everything was set right for the moment, but Sora still feeling uneasy stood up and pushed in his chair.

"Now, now Yuffie Sora is a man and men need to be able to put people like that in their place," Hiroshi announced.

"Honestly it is this heat; it has taken my appetite from me so if I may excuse myself I think I'll head on home." Sora managed to fake a smiled as he waited to be excused.

"Whatever you need boy as long as you can meet me down at my shop bright and early tomorrow. We need to discuss this position in more detail." Hiroshi said not even trying to make Sora feel as if leaving was okay.

"All the more reason to call it a night, I'll see you tomorrow then." With that, Sora turned and left. Once out the door the man took of in a sprint towards the beach. The sun had long since gone down and the full moon had just begun to clime into the sky. Sora ran, his legs burning with fatigue as he finally reached the beach. With no one in sight Sora let go, he fell to his knees and pushed his forehead into the sand.

"I hate this!" He screamed. The anger that had been growing unbeknownst to him was released in one short sentence. Tears flowed freely down the young man's face as he struggled to form a coherent thought.

_Why am I so confused? Why am I so angry? Why?_ He screamed mentally, balling his fists in the sand. _Yesterday everything was fine. Yesterday I was positive Kairi was the one I was meant to be with, so why? Why does Riku's return and confession change everything? _

A hand on his back brought Sora back to reality and the brunet turned quickly to see who had touched him. His heart pounded loudly in his ears, as time seemed to move slower that normal. Silver hair reflected the moonlight perfectly as aqua eyes searched Sora's startled face.

"Why are you trying to be something you're not?" Riku asked as he reached to cup Sora's cheek.

"What do you mean 'something I'm not'?" The younger man asked defiantly. Riku let his hand fall as Sora continued. "Riku, Kairi is a nice girl and I'm ready to have a steady relationship with someone. I'm going to be working with her father soon, too. I've made myself a fairly secure life while you were gone and now," the brunet paused. He looked up at his longtime friend, observing how Riku's hair swept along his jaw and how his Caribbean blue eyes seemed to draw a person in until it was impossible to look away.

"And now," Riku pushed as he noticed how Sora stared at him as if the man was bespelled. As if on cue, Sora looked away and pushed himself to his feet. He brushed hurriedly at the sand that clung to his knees and thighs then turned to leave.

"I really need to get going. I'm sure Kairi will call and to make sure I made it home safely and if I'm not there to answer she'll think the worst."

Riku hugged Sora from behind, molding his body against the younger man's.

"Would the worst be that you're with me Sora?" Riku sighed and shook his head, "Why do I get the feeling you're running away from me? Why are you hiding all these things?" Riku whispered his breath caressing Sora's neck eliciting an involuntary gasp from the brunet.

"Riku," Sora moaned pulling away. "I'm not hiding anything from you and I'm definitely not running away." Sora turned and looked at his friend sternly.

"It isn't what you are hiding from me Sora, it's what you are hiding from yourself. For a while now you've done your best to keep your distance from me especially when Kairi is around. How can you truly believe you aren't hiding things Sora?" Riku said taking a step towards the brunet.

"Riku please," Sora said putting a hand up as if to ward off a blow.

"We've been friends since we were kids Sora. We know each other better than anyone; I know how you feel about me." Riku took Sora's outstretched hand and used it to pull the brunet towards him. Soft lips pressed lightly on Sora's as Riku raised his hand to cup younger man's chin and keep their lips pressed together.

After a few tense seconds, Sora finally relented; allowing himself to sink into the kiss. His body sagged against Riku's; the silver haired man now had complete control. Riku ran his hands down Sora's back, stopping just above the brunet's plump ass before he pulled their bodies closer. Riku was surprised to feel Sora's hardness teasing against his body and ground his groin against the brunet's urging him to grow even harder. Gripping Riku's shirt Sora pushed their bodies together again, not wanting the sensation to fade.

A soft moan escaped Sora's mouth as Riku continued to grind and kiss the younger man simultaneously. A tongue slid between partially opened lips and began to search the cavity, tasting every inch. Sora moaned enjoying the thought of Riku's tongue touching him in other places.

"Riku..." Sora whispered as the older man broke the kiss for a brief breathing break. In response, Riku slid his hands under Sora's shirt and kissed him again.

Sora broke the kiss. "Riku stop!" The silver haired man stopped, slowly pulling his hands away.

"What is it?" He asked puzzled.

Sora stepped back and looked away, "it...it's wrong."

"It's wrong!" Riku exclaimed shocked. He looked at his friend with disbelief. "Sora," Riku said reaching a pale hand towards Sora but the brunet only stepped out of reach. Sora's sky blue eyes rose to meet Riku's pain filled gaze.

"Wrong," Riku mused. "Is it wrong for my body to react to you the way it does? Is it wrong for you to want my touch?" Riku asked. After a moment of silence, he moved towards Sora, anger plain on his face. Staggered by the emotion so obvious in his friend's features Sora barely managed to avoid Riku's grasp by jumping backwards.

"Tell me you don't really think that Sora." The man in question just looked down. "When did this idea get in your head? Was it that whore who said something or maybe it was her hateful father? You were never one to follow the crowd so why do it now?" After another moment of silence, Riku added, "then I guess you think it is wrong for me to love you, don't you?" With that said, the silver haired man turned and left.

Sora watched as Riku stalked off.

_It is__wrong. _ He reminded himself; _everyone says it is even God damns it but if that's true then why is it so painful to let him go? Why does watching him walk away make me feel so empty inside? _Shaking off the questions Sora walked tiredly back to his home looking forward to the emptiness of sleep.

"Kairi!" Sora exclaimed his eyes automatically roamed across the figure that graced his couch. Her thin frame longed seductively covered by a short pink skirt and a matching pink blouse that buttoned nicely up the front. Laying on her side the skirt rested high up on her thigh almost revealing the very thing it fought to conceal.

"What's going on, it's late and you never said you were going to come over," Sora asked.

"You are later then I thought you would be. Where were you?" Kairi asked stretching her legs out more completely ignoring the man's question. As Sora watched he was surprised to find his body reacting.

_Maybe it is a phase and I don't really like Riku. Maybe it is just from him being gone so long. _ Sora thought happily before answering the question posed by Kairi.

"I was at the beach. I wanted to figure out how I could impress your father tomorrow that's all." I wasn't a complete lie. He had thought about doing just that only when he had reached the beach things just gotten a little out of hand.

"Silly, you don't have to do anything but be yourself to impress my father and here_**I**_ thought you had gone to see Riku." Kairi announced watching her boyfriend closely as she added, "you know Sora I don't think Riku likes me very much, I think he is jealous of our relationship."

"No Kairi that isn't the case at all. He just hasn't spent any time with me recently, you know with his work at the island and all. He is just feels a little left out; he's definitely not jealous." Sora explained rather quickly. Realizing she didn't believe him Sora made his way over to the couch. Smiling he knelt down and took his girlfriend's hand.

Kairi shook her head lightly from side to side. "I can't stand the thought of losing you, I can't bare it." She pause licking her lips, "do you know what else I can't bare Sora?"

The brunet shook his head **NO, **even though he had an idea. Kairi had always been promiscuous. She initiated the kisses, arranged all their alone time, and constantly pushed for their relationship to go to the next level, a level that until now, Sora didn't want to approach.

"I can't stand waiting to have you any more Sora," Kairi said before rolling onto her back pulling her hand away from Sora's. She watched him knowingly as she slowly unbuttoned her blouse revealing a lacy black bra that covered tight A-cup breasts. "We have committed to each other haven't we Sora? I love you and you love me, that's all we need." Kairi whispered the last as she slowly slid her legs apart.

Sora watched the whole thing hungrily as his member twitched at the thought of being plunged into the warmth of her body. He stood, his hands moving to his pants button but paused as Riku entered his mind.

"Sora be a _**real**_ man and make love to me." Kairi said reaching for and unfastening the restraining button on Sora's jeans.

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**A/N:**_ Well I hadn't planed for this to be more than one part but at over  
3 thousand words and seven pages, I think that it is better this way.  
Please review! I love to hear what you all thing of my work!_

_Part 2 should be done and subsequently will be posted soon. Thank you. Lonely_

_R&R._


	2. Part II

Disclaimer:_ I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does. I do however; own this particular fan fiction and its plot._

Warning:This fiction contains mature themes such as sex, violence, language, and hate. If you can't handle these themes, I suggest you leave. Yaoi a.k.a men having sexual relationships with other men, is a main part in this fic once again if this bothers you then please remove yourself.

**--The topics addressed and the views portrayed in this story do NOT reflect those of the authoress. She has only set out to portray the views of the hateful people that she views in life. The authoress is sorry if any words or comments offend anyone but she hopes you can see why she felt the need to put them in.**

--Note--: This chapter does include a "lemon" scene.

* * *

Pushing You Away: Part II

"Kairi are you sure you want to be doing this? Your parents are totally against premarital sex you know." Sora muttered as Kairi hastily pulled down his jeans.

"Why are you so conflicted, Sora? One second you look all but offended by the idea of sleeping with me, then you are roaring to go, then you get all sullen and cautious again." She stared curiously up at the man in front of her; he looked very unsure as he stood there with his jeans pooled at his feet, his dick half erect, and his face so lost.

"I'm sorry it is just I don't know what the right thing to do is. You want me, you say we have committed so it is okay but I know how you should feel about the act." He paused and looked down at the woman sitting patiently before him.

_If I'm straight this should prove it. Right? I mean if I was gay, I couldn't do it. _ Sora nodded an acknowledgment of his thought.

"If you want to then lets do it." Sora stepped out of his jeans.

"I want to," Kairi answered. Assured by Sora's words Kairi stood, took Sora's hand into her own and led him off towards the bedroom.

Kairi fell backwards onto the bed and pulled Sora down with her so that his naked body stretched out above her. The brunet leaned down capturing Kairi's mouth. If there was one thing Sora had acquired from the girl it was a talent and a passion for kissing. When they had begun dating the man had no idea what to do or how to do it but, like in most things Sora did he learned quickly and became rather good at it.

Sora slid his tongue into Kairi's mouth slowly licking along the roof of the opening before encircling her tongue leading it into his own mouth. The two sucked and pulled at the muscles relentlessly before Kairi pulled back.

"Take me now Sora," She moaned. Kairi ran her hand down Sora's chest, stopping just before she reached his manhood.

"But I don't have,"

"No now, I want you inside of me Sora. Be with me!" Kairi demanded and so Sora did. He moved his hips in line with the smaller girls and slowly pushed himself in. Kairi gasped, and Sora stopped unsure of what to do.

"No don't stop, Sora keep going." The man nodded and tilted his hips forward pushing more of his member inside her.

_Oh my God. _ He screamed mentally. _It is so tight! _ Forcing himself to keep going Sora finally reached the base of her. He stared down at Kairi; her eyes were squeezed shut, face scrunched up into what looked like pain. Slowly he drew out before plunging himself back in.

_Does Riku look like that when he masturbates? _ Sora thought pumping into Kairi harder as the thought of Riku's pale body crossed his mind.

The air escaped his lungs in one long breath as he slid back out once more, back in, and back out. Sora closed his eyes imagining Riku's slim waist being the one under his hands. Soon he found a rhythm between Kairi's slim legs, moving faster and faster with each stroke. Unable to help it Sora whimpered each time Kairi did. He looked down into _**Riku's**_ eyes, face contoured by concentration. Sweat beaded across his brow as the pressure built, pumping once more the brunet came with only one name on his mind, Riku.

Sora collapsed, covering Kairi's body with his own. Her heart beat rapidly against his chest as she struggled to breathe. Mustering up his strength Sora crawled up onto his hands and knees and rolled off the girl. Resting next to Kairi, Sora felt guilty. He had been with her physically but in his mind it was Riku his body entered. A hand slid across Sora's chest as Kairi curled up against the side of his body.

"I'm sorry I wasn't good for you." Sora apologized; he reached up brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"You were amazing. We can work on me later, this time all I wanted was you and I got that." Kairi whispered before slipping off into a peaceful sleep. For Sora, sleep wasn't easy but it was inevitable.

_What will Riku think when he finds out? _ He thought before sleep finally took him.

Sora woke to bright light flooding in through the window covering his naked body in pure white sunlight. Sighing contently, Sora rolled out of his empty bed. Kairi must have got up early and went to work

"Work!" Sora exclaimed, practically leaping in to the living room for the jeans he had discarded the night before. The brunet hopped quickly back to his dresser while sliding into his denims. Opening the drawer Sora grabbed the first shirt his fingers touched. Once that was done, he quickly grabbed socks and hobbled back into the living room to retrieve a pair of shoes.

"You are late," Hiroshi remarked bored by the situation. He had never expected Sora to make it on time; Hiro had always believed Sora to be unreliable. The brunet had only proved him right in his accusations.

"I am so sorry sir, I overslept and..." Sora was cut off as Hiroshi turned a cold glare to him.

"I don't want to hear your pitiful excuses; I want to see you turn yourself around. I have my men out there working hard on a new ship, go, and prove you can handle the work." Hiroshi pointed out toward the docks. Sure enough in the distance, you could see a swarm of men working busily.

"Is that the job you have for me? When you said we would discuss it I though it might be something higher up." Sora stated still watching the bodies working slavishly in the distance.

"That may have been the case if you had shown yourself to be a competent, trust worthy individual but, you are late to work so that opportunity has left unless you can prove me wrong today. Now, if you want a job get your scrawny ass over there, I have customers."

Sora nodded, "Yes sir." With that, the brunet left Kairi's fathers presence and headed towards today's work.

Hiroshi came down throughout the day in-between customers and throughout the day, Sora was busy. Nailing and lifting, as the sun pounded down relentlessly. The men got a half-hour break for lunch. Every one of them took this time to rest their abused muscles and prepare for another round of abuse once the short break was finished.

"New?" A young man questioned as he set himself down next to Sora.

"Kind of, I'm auditioning I guess." Sora answered, as he gave the man a once over. He was smaller then Sora, dirty blond hair was longer then most of the men working down at the docks, and like Sora's it seemed to have a mind of its own. Tan skin glistened with sweat, completely exposed to the sun.

"I'm Titus," the man said extending a dirty hand toward Sora.

"So, how long have you worked here?" Sora asked curiously.

"Me, well I have worked in this company for about a year and a half. This is really demanding work you sure your up to it? No offence but you look a little scrawny to me." The blond man smiled and laughed happily.

_He sure is easy to amuse. _ Sora thought before informing Titus that he wasn't scrawny. The blond just laughed more.

Titus composed himself then turned his attention once again to Sora. "Auditioning, what do you mean?"

"Umm...I am well...Hiroshi is my girlfriend's father and he offered to give me a job here with him. I was late though so this is a test to see if I can handle it or something like that." Sora answered sheepishly.

"Ouch! Good luck with that, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. The boss scares me." Titus wrapped his arms around himself and began to fake shivering. He laughed suddenly at his own joke. Sora didn't get it.

"Seriously though, if he is as strict with his daughter as he is with his business…awe never mind lunch will be over before you know it so you better get to eating." Titus smiled kindly and dug into his lunch. The young blond ate as fast as Sora usually did. Looking down at his food, Sora could feel his appetite slipping away as he questioned the worth of the ordeal he had taken on.

A horn sounded warning the workers that they had only five more minutes to finish their breaks.

"Even if you're not hungry eat. Trust me you will regret it later if you don't." With that piece of advice, Titus headed back to his position, ready to work non-stop for the rest of the day.

Sora managed to avoid Riku for about two weeks, just as he managed to limit his time with Kairi. Ever since they had spent the night together, she had insisted in coming over more often. Exhausted by the work at the dock Sora barely had enough energy to take a shower let alone have sex with the woman.

"A rain check please Kai, the ship's buyer decided he needed it done a week early, your dad is working me to the bone. He still isn't convinced that I can do what ever job he had planned on giving me." Sora said, stretched across his bed barely conscious.

"He is really proud of you I can tell. His clients are just greedy it has nothing to do with him and since you are making such a good impression I am sure he'll give you that job soon" Kairi said sweetly as she discreetly tried to persuade Sora to let her come over.

"Yeah some how I doubt that, anyway, I'm really tired Kairi so I'm going to let you go now. Sorry maybe this weekend, when I get a break." Sora said and pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Love you," she said indignantly before the tone cut her off. She slammed the receiver into the cradle and stomped her foot, angry at Sora's sudden dismissal.

Sora let the phone fall from his limp hand as he finally allowed sleep to consume him; he dreamt.

_The sand was rough under his hands as he hunched over on the beach. Tears trailed down his cheeks as he stared out across the ocean. _

_"You left me God damn you, you left me here alone." He screamed fists digging into the soft earth. _

_"Who left you Sora? Who left you?" A thin figure knelt in front of the brunet, his pale hands reaching up to cup the crying face of the man before him._

_"You left me, Riku."_

_Leaning in the silver haired man pressed his lips to Sora's all the while Riku's thumb brushed away the tears that still trailed down his friend's face._

_"I haven't gone anywhere. I've always been here if only you wanted me." Riku kissed Sora's once more before pulling away towards the ocean. "But you don't want me Sora. You hide from me Sora." As the older man waded into the salty water, his clothing dissolved exposing every pale inch of his skin to Sora._

_"Don't leave Riku." The brunet pushed himself to his feet and ran towards the other man. His progress was slowed by the sand, feet sinking impossibly deep before finally being pulled free. Heat rose to Sora's cheeks when he noticed how the waves lap against Riku's pale waist. Sora allowed his eyes to wander over the smooth skin of Riku's torso, arms, neck, and face. He watched as his friend stood in the surf, bathed in the white light of the moon and the words he needed to keep Riku by his side came to him._

_"Riku I want you," Sora yelled, "I love you."_

_Sora's naked body slid along Riku's, the surf playing against his thighs. Lips pressed roughly against his and he opened to that demand. His skin burned with the need to be touched by the silver haired God. This was what he needed. This was who he needed to feel whole. Sora reached up and brushed Riku's hair back from his face as soon as he was able to tear his lips from the other's. _

_"Riku," Sora whispered shocked as the other man slowly faded. "Don't leave. Don't leave Riku." Sora begged grasping for the other man, but his hands slid through Riku's non-existent form. _

_"Tell me Sora. Come find me, come find yourself." _

The last wisp of Riku's presence disappeared, as did the dream. Sora's sat up; his mind raced. Sora knew very well that dreams are the keys to your subconscious and wondered what exactly he was trying to get across to himself. The brunet glanced at the clock; it was two A.M, no longer tired the brunet climbed out of bed and began to dress.

A full moon that hung high in the sky lit Sora's way even though the light it provided was less than unnecessary; the brunet had traveled this path since he was a child. The two used to take turns sneaking to the other's house in the middle of the night, and then they'd sneak down to the beach to sword fight. Once they were old enough to move out neither Sora nor Riku had moved far from their old houses'. Spying Riku's house, Sora pondered what would be the best way to wake his friend. He fancied the idea of climbing the tall palm next to his friend's bedroom window and tapping gently on the window. He let the idea pass however; that would be awkward and Sora didn't want Riku to get the wrong idea he was just here to...

"Why am I here?" Sora asked as he raised a fist and knocked gently on the door. _I'm here because I want to see him. _

"Riku," Sora called and rapped once again. He could hear mumbling as the man approached the door.

"Who is it's," the door swung open and Riku looked up shocked. "Sora! What are you doing here? It's late, don't you have to go to work in the morning." Riku ran a pale hand through his luminescent hair, trying to tame the mess that his restless sleep had created.

"Yeah I do. I'm sorry for waking you Riku it's just that I wanted to..." Sora paused trying to find the appropriate words. What is a good excuse for waking your friend, whom you have been avoiding, in the middle of the night? Is there even an acceptable excuse for that?

"Don't worry about it. I wasn't sleeping very well anyway. Why don't you come in." Riku pushed the door the rest of the way open, turned, and went deeper into his home. Sora followed quietly, unsure of where all of this would go.

"Want some coffee?" Riku called as Sora rounded the corner into the kitchen.

"At this hour?" Sora smiled.

"Sure why not? We are both up anyway. So," Riku said and turned towards Sora once the coffee was started, "what is it that brings you here? I noticed that you have gone out of your way to avoid me recently."

"Riku I," Sora exclaimed stepping towards the counter where Riku lounged.

"No, I don't want your excuses. I don't care why you haven't been here. I only care about why you are here now. I thought you had made up your mind about us, Sora." Riku pushed off from the counter and went to the refrigerator just to keep himself busy.

"I…Riku it's just that I…I wanted to see you. I don't know why because I don't know anything. My life is a mess." Sora sobbed as his pent up emotions threatened to take over. "I always ran to you Riku. You were always there and I need that now. I need you right now Riku."

"Sora," the silver haired man closed the door to the icebox and quickly crossed the room reaching his friend just as the brunet's knees gave out.

"Relax Sora, I am here for you okay." Riku swept the smaller man into his arms and slowly moved towards his room. It was a damn good thing the master suite was on the ground floor. Sora was heavier than he looked. Riku laid the limp man gently on the bed before climbing in behind him.

"Sora what is wrong. Why have you let yourself fall into this state, please what can I do to help?" Riku whispered, his lips gently running along Sora's ear.

"I don't deserve your help Riku. I have been a terrible friend to you. I deserve nothing." Sora said into the pillow, trying to muffle the sound of his sobs.

"Well whether you deserve it or not doesn't matter, I am going to give it to you, what ever you need."

Sora slowly rolled onto his back, his eyes searched out Riku's in the moonlit room. The pain was evident in his gaze as he struggled to say what he wanted.

"What ever I need Riku?" Sora asked, his gaze slid down the curve of Riku's face.

"Anything," Riku whispered afraid to wake Sora from his trance.

"Even if I told you that the only thing I want right now is…you?" Riku cupped the brunet's cheek and traced Sora's lips with his thumb. This was better than he could have ever imagined. Riku had been sure that Sora would never open up to him in this way. He had prepared himself to let that idea fade away and yet here he was leaning over the thin body of the man he loved so much, tracing the outline of the lips he had kissed only once.

"Especially if you told me that Sora," Riku murmured and moved his lips towards Sora's slowly.

* * *

**A/N**_**:**__ I'm cruel I know. This isn't how I had planned to end the chapter but  
when I came back to it today, it seemed to fit so nicely.  
Part three has barely been started so don't look for it too soon,  
but I will do my best. In the mean time, please review, hell flame if you feel the need. Thank you for reading. Lonely_

_R&R_


	3. Part III

"I don't deserve your help Riku

Disclaimer:_ I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does. I do however; own this particular fan fiction and its plot._

Warning:This fiction contains mature themes such as sex, violence, language, and hate. If you can't handle these themes, I suggest you leave. Yaoi a.k.a men having sexual relationships with other men, is a main part in this fic once again if this bothers you then please remove yourself.

**--The topics addressed and the views portrayed in this story do NOT reflect those of the authoress. She has only set out to portray the views of the hateful people that she views in life. The authoress is sorry if any words or comments offend anyone but she hopes you can see why she felt the need to put them in.**

--Note--: This chapter does contain a "lemon" scene.

* * *

"_I don't deserve your help Riku. I have been a terrible friend to you. I deserve nothing." Sora said into the pillow, trying to muffle the sound of his sobs._

"_Well weather you deserve it or not doesn't matter, I am going to give it to you, what ever you need."_

_Sora slowly rolled onto his back, his eyes searching out Riku's in the moonlit room. The pain was evident in his gaze as he struggled to say what he wanted._

"_What ever I need Riku?" Sora asked, his gaze sliding down the curve of Riku's face._

"_Anything," Riku whispered afraid to wake Sora from his trance._

"_Even if I told you that the only thing I want right now is…you?" Riku cupped the brunet's cheek and traced Sora's lips with his thumb. This was better than he could have ever imagined. Riku had been sure that Sora would never open up to him in this way. He had prepared himself to let that idea fade away and yet here he was leaning over the thin body of the man he loved so much, tracing the outline of the lips he had kissed only once._

"_Especially if you told me that Sora," Riku murmured moving his lips towards Sora's slowly._

* * *

Pushing You Away: Part III

Sliding his body on top of Sora's Riku pressed his lips against the brunet's. Sora's hands crawled up Riku's back and gripped a handful of the soft, silver hair. Wiggling, the younger man rubbed his groin against Riku's.

"Whoa Sora slow down," Riku said between kisses.

"I can't, I need you! Riku I love you so much! I've wanted you for so long; I've just been too scared to admit it I guess." Sora slid his arms to the hem of Riku's shirt and tugged it up. Riku complied helping the younger man remove the cloth.

"I feel half crazed," Sora exclaimed raking his fingers down Riku's pale flesh. Riku moaned, eyes wild as he stared down at the man under him.

"I can see that." Lips sealed around Sora's neck sucking gently, then harder, harder, Sora cried out pushing Riku back with his hands.

"Sora!" Riku questioned worried he had gone too far.

Sora knocked Riku onto his back and moved above him. Pushing his hips downward as his mouth sipped at the sensitive flesh of Riku's shoulder. Hands caressed the exposed flesh of the older man hungrily; Sora knew that this was right. He knew this was what he had been missing and he wasn't going to let it go easily. Before setting siege on Riku's lips again the brunet pulled away long enough to remove his own shirt and shivered as his warm flesh slid along Riku's.

"I love you," shaky hands popped open the button on Riku's jeans and pulled down the zipper. Watching Riku as he scooted off the bed, Sora removed the other man's last scrap of clothing before slowly removing the last of his own. Holding out his hand, Riku beckoned Sora to him.

"Are you sure about this? Are you sure about me? Things can't go back to the way they were if we have sex you know. I won't be just a friend any more."

"I know you'll be my lover," sliding his hand into Riku's the brunet let himself be pulled on to the bed. Sora pressed his lips against Riku's in reassurance, "this is what I want, now where is what we need?"

Riku motioned towards the nightstand. Leaning back Sora opened the drawer enough so that his hand could fish around for the small bottle. After a moment of searching the brunet found the object. He held it tightly between his palms to aid in warming it as he indulged himself with Riku's lips, tongues sliding together roughly. Reluctantly the smaller man pulled away, kissing lazily down the other's neck before sitting up and scooting back so that Riku's dick sprung up from between his knees. With a quick flick of his thumb, the bottle was open and the slick liquid was poured into his palm. Sora's eyes locked with aqua as his hand closed around Riku's arousal and leisurely applied the lubricant. Once coated the brunet pushed himself up so that his ass would no longer be resting on Riku's knees and poured more of the smooth juice onto his palm. Sora rolled it around in his hand until his fingers were generously coated before pushing one slick digit into his entrance.

"Sora," Riku gasped his erection throbbed as he found the sight before him to be very exciting.

"Ngg…Riku," Sora moaned as he plunged the digit in and out of himself. More, adding another digit, Sora moaned, "yes!" Riku watched hungrily, Sora's half-open eyes, his mouth slack, breath heavy as he readied himself. Another finger was added before Sora finally slowed his assault.

"Now…oh…Riku," answering his lover, the silver haired man gently pushed Sora to his back and pulled slender legs to rest on his muscled shoulders. Placing himself at the younger man's opening, Riku slowly entered, he threw his head back as the feeling of Sora tight around his dick was unbelievable. Sora closed his eyes tight and fought to relax as Riku continued to push inside him. Once sheathed as deep as Sora could take him, Riku stroked the forgotten shaft between them. Mewling with pleasure, Sora gripped the bed sheets, his mind melted as Riku's cock filled him while the same man stroked him roughly.

"Move, Riku go I'm ready. Move," Sora whispered breath heavy with anticipation. Riku released Sora's member using his hands instead to grip slim hips as he slowly dragged himself nearly out of Sora before pushing back in. Riku was moving at a painstakingly slow pace, ever so careful of Sora. The slow push inside him was maddening. Pleasure surged through his body but it wasn't enough, not nearly enough.

"Harder, More, Riku harder!" Sora panted, his eyes stared wildly up at the other man, his breath hitched when Riku obeyed and thrust deep inside him. "Yes," Sora's back bowed as he rose to meet Riku's demanding thrusts.

Riku griped Sora's hips and shifted slightly before diving deeper into that tight heat. Riku moaned as he feverously drove his hips forward riding Sora's ass as the brunet mewled and panted; breath catching each time Riku's hard length stroked that spot within him. The silver haired man was close, his pace quickened as he raced towards climax. Sora seizing his own arousal, stroked trying to match Riku's hurried pace.

Crying out, Riku pumped his hips forward frantically as his orgasm hit like a wall of pleasure. Feeling the scorching heat of his lover's seed spill into him Sora's body tightened, one pump, two pumps, three…overwhelmed by his orgasm the brunet clawed at the soft flesh of his chest. Even feeling the smooth flesh yield to the demands of his nails did not faze him, as he lay euphoric under Riku's half-collapsed body. The two men shivered with pleasure as Riku pulled his now soft member from Sora's body; exhausted Riku lay back, grabbing Sora's hands he pulled the man atop him. Neither cared that they lay with their heads towards the wrong end of the bed, as each of the men were wrapped up in the heady after effects of what had to be the best sex either had ever had.

"Riku," Sora whispered against the other man's chest.

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me enough to be with me forever?" Sora asked shyly. Strong fingers gripped his chin and turned his face up so that Riku could see his expression.

"Of course, why?" Riku asked as he guided Sora until they sat facing each other.

"I love you that much Riku and I want to be with you, but I know that we couldn't live happily here. There are too many people who would make sure of that. I want to run away to a place were we can be happy together 'cause you are the only person who makes me feel whole."

"As long as I'm not running alone I'll be happy." Riku whispered, kissing Sora's forehead gently. "Let's get some sleep now, okay?" Pulling the covers back as well as they could without moving from the bed, the two crawled under the soothing warmth. Sora threw his arm haphazardly over Riku's chest before he allowed himself to fall asleep.

**(30 days until…)**

Sora rolled over and stretched every muscle in his body as he fought the soreness that was still present. The brunet opened his eyes against the harsh morning light. After a moment, Sora spotted a yellow sticky note on the pillow next to him. Silently he read the smooth script that covered the tiny sheet of paper.

_**Sora I tried to wake you but you sleep like the dead and besides you looked so peaceful. Feel free to stay as long as you want and help your self to anything. My home is your home, okay. Riku**_

"Riku," Sora whispered as the memory of the night before cut across his mind. Looking down at the scabbed scratches he had all but forgotten about Sora could hardly believe they had agreed to run away together. By the end of the month, everything would be different.

"Where is Sora?" A shrill voice demanded, her heels clicking on the boards as she approached. Riku didn't even look up at the woman; he just picked up another box and carried it onto the ship. "Riku!" The woman demanded impatiently.

"What is it?" Riku stalked down the bridge from the ship to the dock stopping before the nag.

"Where's Sora? He didn't show up for work and he isn't at home."

"You're not his mother you don't need to know his every move," Riku countered.

"Until you leave, yes I do. You and your devious charms, I can't have you luring him into Hell."

"Riku laughed, "sorry to disappoint you Kairi but I think it's better to be free in Hell than to be captive in Heaven." Kairi's face flushed red with anger.

"Now you listen to me Riku, Sora was one-hundred times better when you weren't here, and I hear tell there are some jobs opening up in some of the surrounding ports. Trust me when I say you aren't going to be getting much work around here. Now tell me where Sora is!" Kairi stepped forward, her chest almost touched Riku's as she tried to be intimidating and failed. Riku just smirked and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You want to know why Sora seemed so much better before I came back Kairi. It is because he didn't know what he was missing. He was content to live in this lie because he didn't have any reason to tell the truth." Riku gripped Kairi's chin in his hand, "I'm his reason Kairi." He released his hold on Kairi and turned to pick up more cargo. "He's at my house Kairi, though I don't think you are going to be welcomed with open arms." Riku pushed passed the red head on his way up into the boat, "excuse me I have work to do."

Sora pushed himself to his feet, stretching again briefly before heading in the direction of the kitchen. It only took him a moment to find the neglected pot of coffee from the night before. He dumped the cold liquid and removed the spent filter before the brunet added a new one. After the prep work was done, Sora started a new pot. There was nothing better than a nice hot cup of sweet coffee in the morning especially if it came after a shower. Eagerly, Sora headed back up the stairs to the bathroom.

The warm water flowed down Sora's lean body as he washed himself, anxious to wrap his lips around the hot coffee that brewed in the kitchen. After rushing through the necessities that go along with a shower, the man took a second to truly savor the flow of the water as it trailed down from his head to his feet. Sora sighed and reluctantly turned off the water. A warm breeze blew through the small window next to him, chilling his damp skin as he stepped from the tub. Sora had just pulled a towel from a shelf over the toilet when a figure stepped into the doorway.

"Sora…What...Why?" Kairi shrieked.

Sora quickly secured the towel around his waist before pushing past the woman hurriedly. "What are you doing here Kairi? How did you get in?"

"The door was open and who cares why I am here, what the hell are you doing here…Naked?"

Sora ignored her last statement and informed her that he indeed cared why she was here. He scooped up the jeans that lay abandoned in a pile from the night before and pulled them up under the towel, Sora didn't care that they were dirty or that he wasn't wearing any underwear he just couldn't be nude in front of the woman for another second. Once the pants were fastened, Sora let the towel fall to his feet.

"You didn't show up for work today, I was worried. I went to your house but you weren't there. So I rushed down to the dock to find Riku, he told me you were here. Now what is going on with you Sora?" Kairi stepped further into the room, holding her hands out helplessly towards the man.

Sora's eyes frantically searched the room for his discarded shirt, he was careful to avoid Kairi's questioning gaze. After a moment, Sora gave up on the distraction that searching for the shirt gave him and instead turned to the pained face of the woman not four feet from him.

"Kai…What do you think is going on? What do you make of the situation? I bet if you think hard enough you can figure it out, after all it is what you have been dreading ever since he came back. I guess your father couldn't come up with a job for him fast enough and now it is too late Kairi." Anger flashed through Sora suddenly, as his body reacted to the disgust that appeared on Kairi's face. "I am not going to live in a lie for you or for anybody any more. When I do I end up pushing myself away, I'm not willing to do that again. Riku and I are going to be happy together, away from here, so you do not ever have to see me or Riku again."

"You are leaving," Kairi asked in disbelief.

"Of course, this town is full of people who would never accept us. I don't want to live the rest of my life in fear!"

Kairi's disgust faded to an anger that rivaled Sora's. "Look what he has done to you Sora. You never used to be like this, you would never have wanted to leave before. You were happy here with me. I wish he had never come back, things would have never changed."

"Do you honestly believe that?" Sora yelled in disbelief. "Kairi, If Riku hadn't have come back we wouldn't be together now but that would not have changed my feelings. I have loved Riku for a very long time, I just was never able to admit and accept it. The feelings would have remained to eat me away eventually. I never loved you like I loved him Kai." A hand suddenly made contact with Sora's right cheek, knocking his head to the left.

"How dare you! How dare you say you love him more! He is a man! That is just sick Sora. You are a perverted fool! I'll pray for you," tears streamed in angry lines down Kairi's face as she screamed at the brunet. "I'll pray that you come to your senses before it is too late."

As the woman stomped angrily out of the room, out of the house, Sora just held his cheek and tried to keep the tears that threatened to fall contained.

_If only she knew that it is already too late, _ He thought. Sora could think of nothing right off that would keep him from Riku's side. He wasn't tied to this horrid town by anything, no reason for him _**not**_ to leave.

The sting in his cheek faded but the pain in his chest did not. Slowly Sora, fell to his knees. His mind raced as he wondered why it had to end this way. Why did they have to leave? Why couldn't they be allowed the same chance to be happy that everyone else took for granted? Why was it his love that was considered perverted?

The look of sadness on Kairi's face as she left haunted the man as he slipped to the floor and rested his head on the plush carpet. The adrenaline from their confrontation had begun to slip away leaving him exhausted and nearly broken. The sooner they left the better; they would have to get the ball rolling soon. Blue eyes stared fuzzily at the carpet fibers for a few more minutes before they finally slipped closed and Sora slipped into the blissful unconsciousness of sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** _Hello to all. Yes I have finally updated and I do hope that the RikuXSora  
scene made up for the SoraXKairi scene in Part II. Every time I sit down  
with this it surprises me, yet another chapter will be necessary to wrap this__puppy up.  
But don't worry Part IV is done so it will be up soon; probably__ next Wednesday  
or Thursday as a graduation present to myself.I have also made  
it a point __to edit Parts I and II as well.__Thank you all for sticking  
with me I know I am a lousy up dater.  
__Please Review.  
I love any type of feed backflames included. Lonely_


	4. Part IV

_Disclaimer:__ I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does. I do however; own this particular fan fiction and its plot._

**Warning:**This fiction contains mature themes such as sex, violence, language, and hate. If you can't handle these themes, I suggest you leave. Yaoi a.k.a; men having sexual relationships with other men, is a main part in this fic once again if this bothers you then please remove yourself.

**--The topics addressed and the views portrayed in this story do NOT reflect those of the authoress. She has only set out to portray the views of the hateful people that she views in life. The authoress is sorry if any words or comments offend anyone but she hopes you can see why she felt the need to put them in.**

--Note--: This chapter does include a "lemon" scene.

* * *

Pushing You Away: Part IV

**(30 days until...)**

"Sora," Riku exclaimed seeing the man curled up on the floor. "What the hell are you doing on the ground? Is this Kairi's doing?" Riku pulled Sora into his lap and brushed the hair from his face so that dark blue eyes could meet with the older man's sky blue pair.

"No it isn't _**really**_ Kairi's fault. I just let my mind wander a little too much." Sora whispered pausing briefly; he continued before Riku could respond. "It is just that you are going to be all I have now. . . if Kai tells anyone it will be you and me against almost everyone on this island. That thought scares me because then, if I were ever to loose you I would loose the whole world; I would loose _**my**_ whole world."

Riku smiled sadly before kissing Sora's forehead reassuringly. "I will never leave you; okay Sora, so you don't have to worry about that. I," lips brushed over one of the brunet's lidded eyes, "love," those same warm lips ghosted over the other, "you," gently Riku pressed his lips to Sora's in a brief, chaste kiss.

"I love you too." Sora said as he buried his face into Riku's muscular chest.

**(27 days until...)**

"Sora great news, an old friend from Radiant Garden called today. He found me a job. I guess some major damage occurred there recently and they are looking for all the help they can get. I've asked him to check around town for apartments. He guaranteed that he would find something." Riku collapsed down onto the couch next to Sora. The brunet's grin stretched ear to ear as he climbed into Riku's lap.

"I can hardly believe it, in only three days you've got yourself a job. We're on our way aren't we?"

Sora shifted, turning so that he now straddled his lover's legs. He leaned down and pressed his lips briefly against Riku's. The silver hair man smiled up at Sora; he was glad to see that the sullen cloud that had hovered over the brunet had finally dissipated completely.

"I love you Sora; I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I can't wait either Riku." Sora said his eyes twinkled with a mischievous glint. The brunet pushed himself closer to Riku's body making sure to draw out the movement as he pushed his groin downwards. Riku's gaze became heated as he stared hungrily into Sora's eyes.

As the brunet leaned forward, Riku traced his fingers up the other man's back until they tangled in the thick brown locks. Pulling Sora that last inch, Riku pressed their lips together harshly. Sora too, curled his fingers into his lover's thick hair. The men's lips parted briefly before connecting again in a deeper kiss. Riku moaned unable to hold the sound any longer. Slipping his fingers from Sora's hair, the silver haired man gripped Sora's hips and eagerly guided the brunet's unconscious grinding. Under Riku's hands the younger man pulsed his hips harder; he made sure his jean caged erection collided with Riku's own thickened member.

"Sora," Riku sighed. "Stop, you have to stop or I'm going to come."

Sora slowed his motions but didn't stop. "I want you to come."

"Not in my jeans I won't."

Sora grinned before he licked a wet line up Riku's jaw and whispered in his ear, "what about in my mouth."

Riku gasped, "please," he whispered.

Sora made one last downward thrust then slipped to his knees in front of the couch. Nimble fingers carefully undid Riku's jeans; Sora shifted higher up on his knees in order to get the best angle. Riku watched Sora grab his cock and slowly moved his lips to the tip. He watched as that pink tongue darted out; it licked his moist tip gently before Sora dipped his head and ran his tongue in a long wet line from the tip to the base of his member. Another lick to the top then Sora suddenly took the dick between his lips. Riku gasped again, as the feeling of Sora's mouth taking him so deep and the sight of it was almost enough to end it right then.

Sensing this Sora drew back, "take off your shirt Riku. I want you naked."

Riku did as he was told; he pulled the shirt up over his head, tossing it as soon as his arms were free. Sora then moved his hands to the top of Riku's denim and pulled them down as far as they could go with his shoes still on. The younger man quickly untied the boots that kept Riku from being nude and tossed them to the side. Sora slid his hands up into the silver haired man's pant legs searching for and finding the top of his socks. In one violent motion those too were removed, all that remained were the cotton jeans pooled at Riku's ankles. Sora kissed his lover's pale thigh as he slowly slipped the jeans off.

"Now where were we?" Sora mused leaning back over Riku's groin, "oh yeah you were about to come weren't you."

Riku nodded as his stomach knotted with anticipation.

"I can't wait." Sora slipped his hot mouth around Riku's cock once again. The brunet slipped downwards trying to take all of the older man but before he could, the reflex at the back of his throat was triggered. Riku moaned loudly; his hands gripped Sora's hair, keeping the brunet's mouth sealed around his dick. After a few deep breaths through his nose Sora again slid Riku down deep within his mouth, this time he managed to avoid gagging.

"Oh Sora," Riku pleaded, Sora rolled his eyes upward. Riku's eyes were closed, his head tilted back ever so slightly; the man looked almost pained by Sora's slow actions.

Sora's thin fingers cupped Riku's balls and stroked between them ever so slightly as he began to move at a quicker pace. Sora slid down, he took as much as he could of Riku's thickness before he slid back up; he grazed his teeth lightly along the other man's shaft as he rose. Sora's tongue swirled 'round as he worked, brining Riku closer and closer every time he dipped his head. Riku's grip on Sora's hair tightened as he urged the man to go faster; mewls and moans poured from Riku's mouth like sweet music. Sora could tell he was close.

"Ugh...mmm...Sora I'm gonna..."

Sora thrust Riku deep into his throat, again the younger man gagged and that was all it took. Riku cried his release as his warm spunk spilled into Sora's mouth. The brunet was rather startled at the amount and tried to swallow it all. Much to his displeasure, some of Riku's ejaculate dripped down his chin. Sora slid Riku's member from his mouth and moved to sit next to his lover on the couch. Riku smiled, he wiped the cum from Sora's face and kissed him hungrily.

"What are we going to do about you?" Riku asked motioning to the bulge in Sora's jeans, when they finally broke their kiss.

"Whatever you want," the brunet answered.

"Whatever I want," Riku paused, "I think it best we continue this in the bed room." Pushing himself to his feet, Riku pulled Sora up with him before leading him off towards the other room.

By the time they were done, both of the men were beyond exhausted and sleep found them easily.

**(23 days until...)**

"You're home early," Sora said as he carried the ingredients for tonight's dinner into his kitchen. Ever since the two had slept together, they had been alternating nights at each other's houses until the time came when they could move away.

"It was a pretty slow day at the dock so I talked Boss into letting me come home; I got some great news on the answering machine this morning. That friend I was telling you about, the one who found me the job in Radiant Garden, he got us an apartment. Best of all the rent is really cheap, only 200 a month. He said the owner can meet us at the end of the week to close the deal and that we can move in when ever we are ready."

Sora ran from the kitchen to his boyfriends arms. "This is wonderful," he exclaimed.

"I know, Boss says as long as I stay till the end of the summer rush and work on the dock I will get my bonus for completing the job. That is thirteen days Sora! In thirteen days we will be out of here!" The older man kissed Sora's forehead lovingly. "The end is in sight Sora."

"Will Boss let you have the day off so we can go to Radiant Garden and seal the deal?"

"Yep, Boss is probably the only decent man I know on this hell hole of an island besides you. I think I'm going to miss him," Riku mused. He squeezed Sora tighter to him.

"Remind me to give this friend of yours a big kiss."

"None of that," Riku laughed.

"What you think he deserves more?" Sora joked; he pulled away and headed of to the kitchen.

"He definitely deserves more than that but from this vantage point I don't see myself being able to share." Riku raked his gaze down Sora's petite frame; his shorts barely hit him mid-thigh and clung to his leg like a second skin giving anyone who was interested an amazing view of his plump ass.

Sora turned and smiled, "if you keep looking at me like that I won't be able to focus on making dinner."

Riku laughed at the flirty way Sora sashayed around the corner into the kitchen. "I am okay with that."

The signing went smoothly and like Riku had said, the man was happy to let the two move in when ever they were ready. Time passed quickly, every morning Riku would kiss Sora good-bye and head off to work, every evening the two would pack their things, and every night they would make love before falling asleep in each other's arms.

**(16 days until...)**

Sora worked busily washing the dishes from his small lunch. Riku's house was older than his own was and didn't have a dishwasher installed so all the dishes had to be washed the old-fashioned way. The brunet had just set the last dish in the rack to dry when a knock sounded on the front door. Sora quickly pulled the plug in the sink and grabbed a towel to dry his hands as he headed towards the sound.

"Hello," the man said swinging open the door. Eyes lighter than his own but shades darker than Riku's stared up at him. Kairi's cheeks were pink and stained with tears.

"Sora," she whimpered and threw herself at the other man. Instinctively Sora wrapped his arms around the woman, keeping her on her feet.

"Kairi what is it?" Sora questioned to no avail, Kairi had snapped. Sobs poured from her mouth growing louder and louder with every passing second. "Stand up Kai, come in, come in and calm down." Gently the brunet man pushed Kairi far enough away so he could move to the side, allowing the woman to go past him.

"You…you…" Kairi choked on her sobs, "you weren't at…your house…"

"I know Riku and I have alternating staying at each other's homes, but you found me. I'm here now so tell me what's wrong."

Kairi nodded acknowledging Sora's request but that was about all she could do until she calmed down.

"Let's go sit down," Sora recommended.

"No! I'll tell you, I'm calm…Sora," Kairi paused to search the other man's face. It held only confusion as he waited anxiously for what ever Kairi had to tell him.

He really has no clue, Kairi mused.

"Do you remember several weeks ago…we…I'm pregnant Sora! I am pregnant with _**your**_ baby. I am so sorry." Again, the woman burst into tears and instead of comforting her Sora just stood not three feet from her and stared.

"No, no, you are lying. You have to be, you can't be pregnant. It is too soon." Sora stuttered wanting nothing more than to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

"No it isn't. As soon as I missed my period, I knew something was wrong. I got a test the next morning. I used every damn test in the box they all said the same thing. This fucks up my life too you know. How will I tell our child that their daddy was a fucking homo who left us? How will I tell my parents that you didn't marry me and take responsibility because you are a fag? This doesn't only screw you over Sora."

"Why? Why come tell me? You have already convinced yourself that I won't take responsibility, so why even bother?" Sora yelled allowing his anger to grow and match Kairi's own rage.

"Why! Because I had hope for you Sora; because I still love you, I still have your best interest at heart. I wanted to give you the chance to do the right thing. If you aren't interested just say so and I will leave." Kairi turned and looked at the door.

"I thought you knew me better than that Kairi. If you are really pregnant then there should be no doubt that I will do what ever you need. I'm not the kind of man who leaves someone else to clean up my mistakes." Sora watched the woman, silently pleading for her to tell the truth.

"I'm really pregnant Sora."

"What now?"

"We have no choice…"

"She is lying Sora can't you see that. I mean have you even slept with her?" Riku yelled, anger compensating for the hurt he felt inside.

"Of course I've slept with her, how do you think it happened? It was about four or five weeks ago I think," Sora said defensively.

"Four weeks? Four weeks Sora? She couldn't possibly have any signs yet. The only way she could have known was if she was looking for it."

"You don't know what you're talking about. She is not lying Riku, you weren't there, and you didn't see how upset she was. I don't understand why you are being like this. I don't have a choice this is who I am. I won't just leave her to deal with a screw up that was partially my fault. She was acting just like you are, I thought you knew me a hell of a lot better than her, I guess I was wrong." Sora's words cut deeper than any ever said before. "Hell maybe Kairi was right after all, she told me you'd be jealous of me getting the family you'll never have."

Riku and Sora were going to be a family until Kairi ran to the brunet with the news of a baby. Sora and he were going to have the fairly tale ending. Sora was supposed to end up with Riku God damn it! He wasn't supposed to be with Kairi, never Kairi and never for such a stupid reason.

"You're right," Riku said his anger fading. The grief was too much to keep locked away. "I'm jealous Sora. I am jealous because it was going to be you and me. I love you and you love me but now none of that matters."

"Riku I can't."

"I know!" The silver haired man shouted, "you're a great guy, so dedicated to your responsibilities. You'll leave me to do what you think is right. You'll leave me for a lie."

"Riku it's not like that," Sora pleaded.

"Yes, yes it is," Riku forced a smile. "What ever Sora I see there is nothing more for me to say. Your mind is made up, and you're just as stubborn as I am when it comes to changing your plans. Just know that I love you Sora and have a great life." With that said the older man left, ignoring Sora's calls for him to wait.

Tears ran down Riku's face, as he walked nowhere in particular. Maybe by the time he finally wandered back home Sora would be gone; the thought of watching the brunet leave tore his heart in two. It would be better in the end if they just had a nice, clean break. In six days, Riku would be able to pack his stuff and move far from here, far from Sora and the lying bitch that stole him away.

* * *

**A/N: **_Hey everyone. Part IV as promised. I hope to have _

_Part V up soon since it is all but done but I don't have _

_a date planned. Thank you all for reading…_

_Please Review; your words make my heart melt._


	5. Part V

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does

_Disclaimer:__ I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does. I do however; own this particular fan fiction and its plot._

**Warning:**This fiction contains mature themes such as sex, violence, language, and hate. If you can't handle these themes, I suggest you leave. Yaoi a.k.a; men having sexual relationships with other men, is a main part in this fic once again if this bothers you then please remove yourself.

**The topics addressed and the views portrayed in this story do NOT reflect those of the authoress. She has only set out to portray the views of the hateful people that she views in life. The authoress is sorry if any words or comments offend anyone but she hopes you can see why she felt the need to put them in.**

Pushing You Away: Part V

**(13 days until…)**

Their lips met and a cheer ran through the crowd. Kairi pulled away and beamed at her family. Sora had never seen her as happy before. If only he too could feel the joy that comes with marriage to the one you love, but Sora didn't love Kairi and he wasn't sure if he ever would.

**(8 days until…)**

"Kairi," Sora called from his couch. The living room was dark except for the faint glow that came from the kitchen door.

"Yeah Sora?" The woman asked poking her head into the darkened room. "Why are you sitting in the dark? Dinner won't be ready for a while so why don't you watch some T.V.?" Kairi strolled towards the saddened brunet, her concern growing as she came closer and saw that Sora had been crying. Kneeling Kairi grabbed the remote from the coffee table before her and clicked on the T.V. It buzzed and slowly came to life, illuminating the room with its muted glow.

Sora watched her with lost eyes as he tried to formulate his concerns into questions.

"What is it?" Kairi asked voice wavering. Sora's emptiness made her uncertain.

"Aren't you going to tell your parents? About our baby I mean?" Sora's blue eyes bore into Kairi's; there was no comparison between the two. Sora's eyes were all that Kairi's weren't honest, hopeful, deep, loving, and hurt. Unable to hold his gaze any more Kairi pushed herself up from her knees and headed back towards the kitchen.

"I thought I would wait." She called over her shoulder before disappearing into the light. Worry shot like a current through Sora.

_Please don't let Riku have been right, _ Sora pleaded. Violently he pushed himself from the couch and rushed into the kitchen.

Blinded momentarily by the difference in light, Sora waited for the spots in his vision to go away. Kairi was leaning over the stove stirring their dinner seemingly unaware of Sora's presence.

"Why?" Sora demanded in a strong voice, Kairi wasn't going to weasel out of this question. She looked up at Sora and smiled sadly.

"You don't understand Sora," her eyes began to water as she removed the spoon from the pot and laid it gently on the counter.

"I just couldn't bare it if…if…" A sob escaped between her thin lips, Sora went to her, wrapping his arms around that tinny body.

"If what Kai? Explain it to me. I want to understand, I _**need **_to understand."

"Sora I just couldn't handle getting my mother and father all excited and then loosing the baby. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean everything is set in stone. People loose babies all the time. I read that if you make it into the second trimester the chances of a miscarriage decreases by half. I want to wait till we are sure everything will turn out okay." Sora squeezed Kairi gently, trying to soothe the upset woman.

"Honey we aren't going to loose the baby. If you're worried then I'll do everything I can to keep you from being stressed, maybe we shouldn't have sex too, just to be safe," Sora said stroking Kairi's hair lovingly. Kairi tensed crushing's Sora's relief.

"NO!" Kairi exclaimed pulling away from Sora's embrace. "The baby isn't going to be hurt by _**that**_. There is no reason to stop, especially now since you don't have to wear a condom. I'm already pregnant, what is the worse that can happen." Kairi turned her seductive eyes to Sora.

"The worse that can happen is that your fear comes true; that we loose the baby." Sora said backing away, as he began to see the truth because the part of him that had doubted Riku could no longer pretend not to see the convenience of it all. The dots were connected as they say and Sora could no longer lie to himself.

"I don't want this baby to come between us Sora." Kairi said touching her stomach for emphasis with one hand and reaching for Sora with the other.

Sora slapped that hand away as hard as he could. Kairi yelped and scrambled away, frightened by the Sora's sudden rage.

"He was right!" The brunet said astonished, staring at the woman who had backed away as far as she could, her back pressed roughly against the far cabinets. Sora moved forward, reaching the small woman in three strides. "Why Kairi?" He wrapped his hands around Kairi's thin upper arms. "Why lie?" he yelled shaking her violently.

"Stop, Stop, Stop!" Kairi screamed, hands pushing against Sora's chest, fighting to escape his angry grip.

Sora let go suddenly sending Kairi to the floor. The woman scooted a few more inches away from the enraged man before pulling her knees up to her chest.

"What have I done?" Sora cried, staring down at his shaking hands.

"It is okay, I forgive you; I know you are angry but I forgive you." She said soothingly from her huddled position on the cold linoleum floor.

"Not you!" Sora yelled he'd never been so angry before in his life. It was as if his anger fed on his other emotions, all the disgust, sadness, and fear, all of it served to nourish his anger. "Riku, he, we were going to leave together, to get away from people like you, to be happy."

"Fags can't be happy Sora! What happiness can come from living in sin?" Kairi said her tone was venomous.

"Sin, you would know all about living in sin wouldn't you Kairi. After all you fucked me before we were married, that's a sin right. Oh and lying is a sin as well. Everything you do is sinful; you have no right to lecture me!" Sora argued his cold gaze stared down at the woman as she flinched at every accusation.

"Sora, men can't be happy without women. That is what we are for; it's what I'm for, pleasing you. All I wanted was for you to be happy. I don't want to see you damned."

"I already am! I'm damned and that makes me happy. Riku makes me happy. You have trapped me here and I will NEVER," Sora slammed his fist down onto the counter, a violent punctuation, "NEVER be happy. I was going to do what was right Kairi because I loved you enough to do that for you, now I see exactly how much you loved me." Sora could feel the tears threatening to come and he refused to cry here, with Kairi huddled on the ground at his feet.

"I'm leaving," Sora announced and went to gather the few things he would need.

"We are married Sora, married you can't just leave me." Kairi screamed after Sora.

"The marriage was based on a lie Kairi, I say I can." Sora yelled before climbing the stairs. He ignored her threats as he grabbed the only things he needed his passport, his wallet, keys, and a gun.

**(8 days until…)**

"Riku! Riku are you here? Please answer, please...Riku!" Sora yelled, after receiving no answer he collapsed to his knees on the cement slab near the front door of Riku's house. "Riku," Sora called defeated. "You must have left; I don't blame you; after all we did have that apartment already picked out. I wouldn't want to stay and be reminded of me either." He paused, "I don't want to live any more. I'm just not meant to be happy, never was, that much is clear now. I let my head destroy my heart all because of a lie. I've ruined my life more than I can bear."

_Nothing has ever worked out for me. Everything is an up hill battle and I am just so tired of fighting with all of my being just to be denied the one thing that can make me happy. I can do it any more. _

Sora's voice was barely audible as he whispered his goodbyes and pressed the gun harshly against the side of his head. The brunet man closed his eyes and placed his finger on the trigger; it was time to...

"Sora!"

BANG

Sora's eyes flew open as the shot echoed out across the town. He hadn't been expecting to hear that voice ever again, it had surprised him and...

"Riku," Sora whispered coughing blood instantly down upon his chest.

"Call for help now!" Riku screamed at the neighbors who had come to investigate the ruckus Sora had been making. The silver haired man collapsed next to his friend, hands hovering above that frail body, unsure of where to touch. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry Sora, I'm..."

"Don't be...I love you," Sora paused and closed his eyes, his eyelids felt impossibly heavy and he couldn't manage to keep them open any longer. "Riku I'll wait for you. I love...I love...you," Sora exhaled and Riku waited anxiously for his next breath, a breath that he knew wasn't coming.

"Sora! Sora," the man pulled the brunet's lifeless body into his arms. "Please, breathe, here," Riku pushed his lips roughly against Sora's. "I love you too, I forgive you just wake up. Oh God...oh...God!" Riku pushed the body from his arms and stumbled a few steps into his yard before falling down completely. Sirens grew louder until they were there, pulling up to the home. Men piled out of an ambulance stretcher in hand.

_It's too late he's gone. _ Riku thought still collapsed in the yard, motionless. His world spun every time he opened his eyes, his heart broke every time he thought of his friend covered in blood; so he lay in the cool grass wishing he too could die.

"Sir? Sir are you alright?" Warm fingers pressed against Riku's neck then it was he who was being lifted onto the stretcher, the stretcher that was meant for Sora.

"What are you doing?" Riku screamed sitting up, "This is for Sora, this is for him." The man pointed to the spot where a sheet now covered his lover from the curious eyes of the neighbors.

"Sir that man is gone. We can't do anything for him, but we can help you now please," the paramedic said calmly, "lay back down." The men continued to wheel Riku towards the flashing lights of the ambulance that waited.

"I am fine; help him, take care of him. Please," Riku screamed.

"Sir," an anonymous man said, sternly gripping Riku's shoulder. "He is gone. There is absolutely nothing you or we can do. Now please calm down and let us help you."

Riku felt as if that man's hands had sucked all the fight from his body. Numb and cold the silver haired man stopped fighting the paramedics just as the stretcher was lifted into the back of the vehicle.

"But," the doors closed, "he did it because of me." Riku's words fell on deft ears as the paramedics talked to distract him and busily took his vital signs. Who cares how old he was, all that mattered to him was that now Sora was dead, the paramedics didn't seem to understand that fact as well as Riku did because the useless questions continued.

**(0 days until…Sora is laid to rest)**

Sora was cremated and laid to rest in a small ceremony on Destiny Island. Riku watched from a distance until everyone left; it amazed him how quickly everyone scattered, almost immediately once the priest's words were done. When the site was deserted Riku approached, a single red rose in his hand. He knelt and let the rose drop into the grave.

Why they had insisted on paying a shit load of money for a coffin that would only hold a small container of Sora's ashes Riku didn't know. The man chalked it up to everyone having his or her own way of mourning. If Sora's family wanted him in a solid oak coffin, it was their business.

"I love you Sora, I always have and I'll never stop. You promised me you would wait for me and I'm going to hold you to it." Riku ran his fingers along the cool soil next to the grave as he wished the stone had been finished so that he would have something somewhat less morbid to caress.

"Riku," A voice called hesitantly.

"Goodbye Sora," Riku whispered before he stood and dusted off his slacks. The man then turned and headed back the way he had come.

"Riku! Talk to me God damn it!" The woman demanded harshly as she took a step to follow him. Disgust as well as hatred laced her tone yet she had initiated this confrontation. Riku almost smiled at the thought of the woman suffering under the heavy burden of her guilt.

"For someone so fucking devout you sure do take the Lords name in vain a lot Kairi. Tell me has anyone ever told you that you are a complete and utter hypocrite? No? Then glad I could be the first now go away," Riku turned to wave goodbye to the girl before turning around and continuing on his path. "There is nothing I have to say to you that would matter, therefore you are wasting your time. I will not forgive you and I will not absolve you of your guilt so go home! Go home Kairi and never speak to me again." Riku called over his shoulder. The brunette woman stared after him as she digested what Riku had said, finally it all sunk in, he was blaming her when it was him who tempted Sora in the first place.

"How dare you," she screamed after him, "it was you! You are the one who killed him." Kairi yelled at the top of her lungs but Riku was already too far away and worse yet he already knew.

**A/N: **_So this is the last part. I saw that I had up dated today_

_which is exactly one year after the first part was_

_posted so I wanted to finish it today as well._

_I wrote an epilogue to follow Part V so check it out too._

_**Thank you everyone who has read and reviewed **_

_**this fic. **_

_**Lonely**_


	6. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does

_Disclaimer:__ I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does. I do however; own this particular fan fiction and its plot._

**Warning:**This fiction contains mature themes such as sex, violence, language, and hate. If you can't handle these themes, I suggest you leave. Yaoi a.k.a; men having sexual relationships with other men, is a main part in this fic once again if this bothers you then please remove yourself.

**The topics addressed and the views portrayed in this story do NOT reflect those of the authoress. She has only set out to portray the views of the hateful people that she views in life. The authoress is sorry if any words or comments offend anyone but she hopes you can see why she felt the need to put them in.**

Pushing You Away: Epilogue

The years past slowly for Riku, he surrounded himself with work and a small group of friends. Obsessed with living as best as he could until the day came when he would meet up with Sora in death; Riku learned quickly and began his own construction business. Sora Construction Inc. was the number one builder in Radiant Garden for five years before Riku pushed his business into other markets.

A defining moment for the then middle-aged man was when his company; an established builder on Destiny Island bought out Hiroshi's ship building company. Riku had dreamed of owning that bastards business for years but it hadn't had given him quite the satisfaction he thought it would. Those close to him tried to understand the man and his seemingly random actions but as the years passed, they all but gave up.

The only friend to stick with him through it all was also the mother to his only child. That had been a mistake made only a few years after Sora's death. Riku had been depressed, starved for affection and in a moment of utter weakness turned to his best friend for comfort. Imagine his surprise when six weeks later she came to him with the very news that had undone his last relationship.

Eventually he came around and something he knew for sure Sora would have been proud of, he took responsibility. The woman hadn't wanted marriage and for that, Riku had been grateful. The silver haired man just had to be there and he was. In his fifties Riku's business boomed greatly, his company now reached seven worlds and dominated the markets in five of them. In the eyes of others he had it all, but those closest new the truth that Riku would never be truly happy. His success did however offer his son a promising future. His boy attended a top university eventually gained a doctorate in psychology. That brings us to the present.

In his will, Riku donated half of his earnings in order to build a shelter and center for the people of Destiny Island. This building's main purpose was to offer a safe haven to teens and young people whose life style caused strife with their families or community. It was built to push for tolerance and understanding with in the community that had; in his mind, ruined his life. Riku's only son ran the establishment. His doctorate in psychology aided the scared teens that come here for help with their parents, or peers.

Many, his son's mother included, never understood why Riku had chosen to give something to a community at had no interest what so ever in it. Before he died, Riku told her that it wasn't going to be the people who opposed the establishment that would be using it. It would be those too scared to support it that needed it the most.

Riku wanted the people of Destiny Island to have this building, even the people held signs and screamed words of hate the day the center opened. Riku had come to realized that they only did it out of fear. Sora's Haven was built to help ease the fears felt by the community. It is a tool for all who needed it as well as those who refused to.

After Riku's death, the media had a field day with what his money was building. Very few ever knew about Sora and the events that had led to the construction of Sora's Haven, so rumors were rampant for some time after Riku's passing. Riku's son and his mother knew that none of it mattered now, after all the man they both loved dearly could finally find the peace he had denied himself in life. Maybe someday no one would ever have to face the trials that those two men faced so early in their lives. Maybe, but until that day Sora's Haven would be there for those lost and alone.

**A/N: **_This is it…the end. Riku goes on to live "happily_

_ever after" (?) with Sora in their after life._

_You are lucky I even wrote an epilogue, I don't _

_really like it 'cause it sounds too cliché I guess._

_It isn't a happy ending but it seems kind of_

_preachy I think. I guess it closes it up okay though._

_**Thank you to all my readers.**_

_Please review. It is the end for goodness sake._


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